Sunday, August 15, 2010

Flashback

I nak bercerita...

Recall: FYI, i am an IT graduate under that PET**n*S sponsorhip, but unfortunately during my time, I mean exactly after I have graduated, the IT department in that BIG company has been outsourced to other company, ended up three batches, including my batch did not even have the opportunity to be interviewed by them. Kira macam anak buangan laa.. I was so indeed frustrated. You know, since my schooldays, I always dream to work with that company, to work at the most talkabout building in the world, KLCC. to me, I have done a lot of sacrification just to ensure I am closer with them.

First: After my SPM , I have been offered to study at U*T*P before the SPM result has been announced. I was so delighted to be closer to that Company until I did not apply anywhere after the result came out. Seriously, not even JPA, not even other IPTA.. 

Secondly, even better, I have been offered with the sponsorship. best lah kan, at least to me at that time, nanti sure ade interview kan, tak yah susah susah nak apply macam orang lain. Note: memang luxury ok sape yang dapat their sponsorship.. I rarely (rasa sekali dua je) mintak my mum's money.. yang lain lebih dari cukup..

Third: For my 8 months internship program, I did not apply elsewhere, mati mati I cari lobang to be as the Company's intern, I had this view - get to know somebody inside, so perhaps your application could be easier... Yes, I dapat..

BUT at that time, the Company was in the midst of outsourcing their IT department..

Heartbroken .. YES!!

They dont even call us for an interview, and they dont even inform us on what to do, the only word that I undetstand that time "we are going to be released".. 

But yes, life moves on. I have been offered to work as a lecturer at that college.. and guess what, and I resigned 6 months later when that Company sent me a letter

TO JOIN THIS MICPA program - the conversion course, sort of like an intensive program for us. They beautifully wrote the letter with an outcome that soon we would be hired by them... and that was the reason again I took up that offer. All I need to do was only study and pass the exam, they even gave me RM1K as pocket money each month for three months..

Then I passed the exam and i have been called for interviews at all of the big four companies but later on I only be accepted at E to the Y and I worked there for 4 years. PET*RO*NAS asked me to take ACCA, but I refused to do  so since I did not have any exemption, and thinking that they might be a possibility that First: tak boleh nak habiskan ACCA (since that time, I was pregnant - sape nak jage anak, penat lagi) Second: Selagi I tak habis, I wont be employed by them, as the BIG company, they could just gave thousands reason why I tak boleh join derang even though in that letter stated after 3 years that Company will call you.

AND BLESS TO ALLAH,my instinct was right. One of my colleague who was in this program has "suffered" mentally since the sponsorship unit did not help much on her. The just say, we could not guarantee you, bla bla bla, kalau ade rezeki adalah bla bla bla.. at least c'mon, call her for an interview. tak dapat takpe, heloo, it was not easy especially those who did not have any background in accountancy, took up the challenge, juggling between work and study. Now my colleague has resigned last year, and we lost contact thereafter.

and me on the other hand, was so geram cos my biggest client was that Company and the contact persons are my juniors, the IT GRADUATE who now working under HR. Yerp, they changed policy, after these 3 affected batches, they called back those IT scholars for an interview.. and kami tiga batch ni dicampak jauh jauh..

and at the end of the day, I received a letter saying that I only have to pay RM3K+ , so lepas ni I terus release..and I paid that amount, but to be released is not what I am looking for..

I dunno what is the conclusion of this story? My frustration? Not really, now I am OK, matured enough to think that rezeki is everywhere, but at times, when I felt so depressed, I couldnt stop myself to blame that Company, kalau tak kerana derang, I takkan keje kat auditing firm yang sangat stress, kalau tak kerana derang, maybe I dah amik master and by now dah jadi lecturer.. I was so determined to join that Company until I will do everything as long as they employed me.. 

But its over, i dah 28, nak masuk 30.. PET*R*O*NAS is one great history that I am going to tell my son. My husband once told me that I dont have the direction to go, I mean, I dun know what to do.Yes, I am but for sure, last time my direction -- I nak keje PET****S. jadilah ape pun. so to my husband, that is not a direction.

Oh, did I tell you, I DID wrote one long "love story" letter to one of the BIG gun in that Company, way back in 2006, telling him how frustrated I was. He was one of the CEO in one of the Company's subsidiary. I didnt know where did I get my courage to send the press button an emailed to him. Yes, he replied but still the answer given was what I have expected, which did not bring me anywhere.

How do I feel now? Tipulah kalau I cakap I tak nak masuk situ, working there is one of my childhood dream, but there are many great colorful things happened around me. Ok untuk sedapkan hati, I should be proud of who I am right now (walaupun stress) but at least my career progression went smoothly. Alhamdulillah. and alhamdulillah jugak until now, I didnt get involved in any "severe" office politics.

and I know, setiap yang berlaku ade hikmah nya. sama ada Allah nak tunjuk atau tak tunjuk ke kan..




   

13 comments:

ashra said...

btul tu mira.tiap berlaku ada hikmahnya.kalu kita tak nmpk skang,kita kan nmpk masa akan dtg..

cam kita lak,da setahun lebih duk umah,actually m applying to be working wit gov til now!tak le keje swasta cz hubby keje shift.anak tak sapa jaga.tak suka la babysitter/nursery jaga smpi lewat mlm.
u noe la kan,keje swasta cane.baru2 ni je la,hubby dapat tukar ofis hour.tu pun,bos duk kalut2 dgn die lg,susah nak lepaskan sbb tak cukup org.mgkn pas raya.

so,kita amik pendekatan,kalu ada rezki,sure sangkut nye..kalu tak sangkut,mebbe allah prepares something good for me..insyaallah..

eh,terpanjang la plak..keke

danial17 said...

1. first things first,u can try reapplying at here

2. u need to go the structured interview, bla bla, and might end up working at a place that wasn't what u expected. The most popular non-technical positions right now are HR, procurement and business planning.

3. as of this year, fresh grad pay is at 4k. experienced like urs might pay higher. but there's no more unlimited medical benefits, no more car loan, no more house loan, silly policy of cant getting married with a staff (not relevant for you anymore :P), silly policy of only one staff inside the company for each family, etc.

4. although from outside people don't see it very much, but the company is down-sizing, this is is the 2nd year where the "retrenchment" of "poor performers" is in practice. office politics is at is worst everywhere inside the company. people are trying the hold on and survive just to make sure they are not the ones selected to be retrenched next year.

5. the grass might be greener from outside the fence, but do ask the cows inside the fence first :P

thanks

mama zharfan said...

hi mira,
now i know u better babe :)
well...i guess working in petronas tu best jugak kot, sbb my adik lelaki staff petronas (petroleum engineer)..masa bujang he pulun buat offshorre works, now dh ada anak sorang, dia mintak tukar dept, so tak pegi offshore dh..still the pay is good, bonus, yearly salari increment..medical benefit..bla bla bla..tu yg i tgk ler..

tak perlah mira u keje kat mana2 pun..frust tu memanglah frust..tp nak buat mcm mana kan...so long u have a steady career, ada fixed income, then kira oklah tu :)
panjang plak i membebel hehheh

Nini D.. said...

sedih sgt bace kisah CHENTA akak nih...xpe kak..tabahkan hati..Allah lebih mengetahui... :)

mama_umar_maryam said...

mira,mmg comp oil n gas byr gaji plg byk kt msia nih, and of cos i'll never ever will get d opportnt lah,no 1 bcos i am passionate in teaching,so,plg cikai pon mayb can b a lect kt utp tuh,i got few family members working there,mmg loaded la tgkkan..tp like others mentioned,just b thankful 4 wat u r today,He knows wat best 4 u,gaji ciput xper (for me)tp quality time nk besarkn anak2,dgn somi,family tu xblh nk rewind klu tertgal ..tu my observation la bile tgk org2 ni ;),apepon rezeki masing2..manela tau klu u join that company,nk updet blog pon pyh,apetahlg nk join GA,hahahaha

Ibu Emir said...

ashra: actually, do u know that a mother yang duduk rumah lagi bertuah. ok lah i understand, lame lame u boring, i mean, i know u need a ME time, tapi at least, aleesya besar depan mata u, u dont have to worry sape yang nak kene jage dia, u dont have to face the work stress which sometimes ber swing swing kan mood u kat rumah.. i kalau hantar emir pergi sekolah, i do envy those mothers yang boleh hantar anak pergi sekolah, amik anak.. rasa sayu pulak tengok sebab i nak dapat macam tu, susah kot.. so enjoy ur stay as a housewife so long u can.. sebab banyak orang jugak nak jadi macam u :)

azhar: 1. i dont really trust that website, i have applied god knows how many times, but nothing happen, at least give la one email ur application is not successful ke ape kan :)

2. yerp, i know that structured interview.. the GAH the company is the more difficult the entry is. but mane mane interviews pun have it difficulties..

3. yeah i know about that. kan kan i jage ur company during my time in my previous company. and i know the frustration as well.. maybe sebab dah terbiase with all those luxury, so bile kene tarik balik, ok cos upset la kan..

4. yes, i know about this too.. thats why i put in my entry above, i feel bless cos one of the thing.. i dont have to go this "sever" office politics..

5. are u the cow? hahahaha.. anyway, thanks for sharing.. i sekarang ni macam a little bit tawar hati pun and dah kurang kisah sikit.. dah tua kot.. this entry just a sharing, sebab asyik cerite pasal contest je kan :D

suzie: my frustration now is not as bad if you are talking about past few years.. im quite ok.. lagipun since i keje kat tempat baru ni (which i have more active involvement in handling international clients), i realized that actually banyak ;agi company yang best best..

Ibu Emir said...

Nini D; tak de bende nak sedihnya.. akak cerite jer.. nothing to be worried about.. :) cheers

zety: actually i like teaching too.. but maybe to start back, uat master semua, i rasa macam lambat pulak, lagi pun susah nak tinggalkan keje since me too has some other commitment jugak, unless kalau macam few years back i nak sambung, still ok, sebab tak banyak sangat komitmen..

anyway.. banyak lagi tersedia untuk kita.. at least dapat keje jugak kan .. and honestly keje i kali ni memang lagi teruk pada dulu la, banyak gile keje, tapi dah name nyer gile contest.. SANGGUP tu bersengkang mate masuk contest

samah said...

mira takpe... like u said... insyaAllah ada hikmah.

kalau boleh jangan define ourselves over one single thing, be it grades, work, promotion, harta, titles etc. we are all better than that. and you are!

BabyBooned said...

i agree with the rest. everything happens for a reason. semuanya mmg ada hikmah tersendiri.

if u asked me 5 yrs ago, i takkan terpikir pun that i'd be a fulltime housewife ever, ever in my life. i'd imagined by this time i'd be a manager in Nestle or PNG. how funny life turns out sometimes.

tapiii ... looking at gibran.. sure i have a litttttle regret.. but nothing major anymore ;)insyaAllah, God knows whats best for us.

schazzy said...

mira...i'm one of the unhappy cows..hehehe...

well, when i was offeed to study in utp pun, i accepted it becos there was no other offer at that time. (kan drg pakai results trial kita..) and then bila results SPM kluar, ader offer masuk matrix tp i x accept becos dah selesa kt utp..i should have thought harder.

i wanted to do medicine but i let myself to believe that i can do engineering. tp x minat langsung pun. so after graduated, bila pet offer i masuk procurement, i accepted it.. again, without berfikir panjang, cos, like IT, EE time tu pun Pet xnak amik sgt..kalau amik pun masuk bidang lain..i think azhar went through the same thing..

papepun, i survived for the last 5 yrs doing things that i dont like to do but learn to love doing. tp it is not easy. reaching for 6 yrs in this company i started to feel like i dont belong here. truth is, i hate it here. maybe becos i hate the current atmosphere (refer point no. 4 from azhar)..but that's manageable..kot..huhu..i think i just realized that i want something more..something more rewarding, more meaningful...something that i cud look back and be proud of..i wish i cud resign but economically, the time is not right.

sounds selfish and ungrateful kan?

the grass is always greener on the other side :)

so dont worry mira, ur not missing much in here. i read your stories. i think you have jobs that colour your life. who knows kalau u x buat semua tu, u might not have the opportunity to do all those things with your family? work pressure (depends on dept) kt sini lain mcm skit..hehehe

jom, live life.love life.hehehe..tetibe kan.

ujie said...

it's ok mira...i was in the same boat with u 6 years ago..I really wanted to work with that company, ape lg when I always heard the story from my bro who still working with P*T...as what others said, only He knows what will be the best for us...siapa sangka, seorang IT graduate ble jadi GURU BAHASA INGGERIS di M*R*S*M...n now it is what I am now...n i enjoy teaching so much...n dunt even think of turning back...at least, I have lots of times with my family especially during school breaks...hehehe..:D

Em's Family said...

ok penat je tulis panjang berjela.. tapi last last hilang pulak komen ni...

anyway in conclusion, terima kasih semua orang.. tapi kalau ikut hati kecik ni, actually i love teaching.. insyaAllah kalau ade masa akan usahakan ke arah tu..

once again.. thanks everyoen1!

im_an_ibu said...

hey, i quit from that company... n i have no regret, at all. n i'm serious...

 

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